Monday, June 26, 2006
Two New Dieting Methods
Diet Method #1:
Bust/Tear your lip apart while horsing around with your kids. (I now see why this activity is reserved mostly for boys.) I swells, bleeds, and swells again. The next day you don't really care to eat much. Terry did say however, that now one half of my upper lip has that Angelina Jolie thing going on. I wonder if I bust half my rear if it will look like hers? Now I look and sound a bit funny, but I didn't have to go to the ER for stitches or anything so that's positive. And if I lose any weight because of it, that's another positive.
Diet Method #2:
Observe one of those great big gigantor water bugs crawling on the stove top. After I thought I had killed it, Reia saw it revived and crawling across the floor. I screamed. People, I don't scream at bugs, but this thing turns my stomach. After the bugicide, I really had no appetite. The bug guy is on his way to spray my house. I'm going to have him pick it up and throw it away. Right now it's covered by one of T's shoes. I don't even have the stomach to look at it.
So ladies, try either of those and report back your findings!
Bust/Tear your lip apart while horsing around with your kids. (I now see why this activity is reserved mostly for boys.) I swells, bleeds, and swells again. The next day you don't really care to eat much. Terry did say however, that now one half of my upper lip has that Angelina Jolie thing going on. I wonder if I bust half my rear if it will look like hers? Now I look and sound a bit funny, but I didn't have to go to the ER for stitches or anything so that's positive. And if I lose any weight because of it, that's another positive.
Diet Method #2:
Observe one of those great big gigantor water bugs crawling on the stove top. After I thought I had killed it, Reia saw it revived and crawling across the floor. I screamed. People, I don't scream at bugs, but this thing turns my stomach. After the bugicide, I really had no appetite. The bug guy is on his way to spray my house. I'm going to have him pick it up and throw it away. Right now it's covered by one of T's shoes. I don't even have the stomach to look at it.
So ladies, try either of those and report back your findings!
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6 Comments:
You know how the monsters in horror movies get killed, but they're not really dead and they pop back up? And then the hero kills 'em again, but really they're just stunned and reappear again? Like, are you sure that bug under the shoe is really, totally not alive?
I'd go check if I were you.
I saw my second "Desert Spider" yesterday and that's enough to make you hurl!
Will either of these help me to lose 40 lbs. before y'all get here in three weeks? :-)
And I didn't get to call you on the way home - A. was a bit of a pill - but I'm off to look at the pics right now.
Given the choice, I'd go with method number one. I'd rather bleed than see such a critter in my kitchen for pete's sake. Yuck. Perfect response on your part - call the exterminator - just in case all it's relatives are lurking about.
You know, I think I'll just work on being ok with myself. I've done the bug thing and I'm not goin' there again if I can at all avoid it. And the blood, despite the added bonus of being Joliesque, isn't to appealing either.
Sounds like you are having a pretty good day!
just left a comment...don' think it went through..ugh
I hate bugs of all kinds.
I'll take the busted lip!
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